Introduction
Perhaps I have my mother to thank for my love of flowers. After all, she did name me 花子 (Hanako) which literally means ‘flower’ (花) - ‘child’ (子). My parents had been planning to move to Japan, where my mom spent most of her young adulthood, and I suppose they figured the name might make the transition easier, despite it being an incredibly old-fashioned name in Japanese. It would be like naming your daughter Millicent or Gertrude - practically unheard of in the Millenial generation. But my dad liked the biblical name Hannah and this Japanese variant Hana (short for Hanako) seemed to suit, so here I am, a blonde haired, blue-eyed Californian with an ancient Japanese name.
Or perhaps I have my uncle to thank for the enduring significance of blossoms in my life. If not for him and his hilarious improv skits, I would’ve been a summer baby, born under the haze of June gloom in Los Angeles. But, as fate would have it, he made my mom laugh so hard that her water broke. She went into labor several weeks early, and instead I was greeted by the sunny full bloom of May. And (spoiler alert) we never moved to Japan.
Regardless your opinions on linguistic determinism or astrology, the importance of flowers in my life has been undeniable. Through the many challenges life has dealt me, flowers have been a comfort and a constant. I’ve found myself endlessly fascinated by their beauty, stopping to snap photos of them since I was in elementary school kid armed with a disposable film camera.
This series is part memoir, part art project, tracing my life through the photos I’ve taken of flowers. My hope is that, as these flowers have been a source of delight, healing and relief to me, that this series may also somehow support you in your journey.
There will be eye roll-inducing flower analogies, my signature run-on sentences that have upset my mom (a language teacher) since I could write a book report, discussion of childhood trauma, tangents on everything from religion to neuroscience, and enough of my flower photography to make printing this story as a book financially untenable, so consider yourself warned.
This substack is dedicated to my inner child, her love for flowers, and all those who find refuge in nature 💛 🌼
With gratitude to my cousin Rachel and her podcast, The Traumedy Show, (which you should totally check out) that inspired me to finally start writing in a format other than my journal; to my partner, N, and my dear friends S, K, J, N and D and who have witnessed so many of my stories and lifted my spirits on the days where flowers couldn’t be found; and to writers Jamie Lee Finch, Glennon Doyle, Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Kaitlin B. Curtice, Sonya Renee Taylor, Tia Levings and Hillary L McBride for sharing their lives, which has supported me so much in mine.
